No films came out this year that I would want to review. On the other hand, three outstanding albums came out this year; any of which I would choose as album of the year. At the same time, I’m still trying to establish my own unique review style, methodology, and aesthetics, and I have a couple of backlogged ideas that I’d like to put into practice as far as music reviews go. This year has definitely presented me with challenges as well as opportunities.

— MM

I’ve decided to not vote in the primaries today; I’m not even going to try. Lack of true disability access to voting and other services has left me with too much to handle on my own, ironically preventing me from being able to vote on those very issues today. Maybe this gives me enough to talk about for a podcast episode on Thursday, though?

— MM

I’m really not used to blogging; I’ve always resisted even the concept of a diary or journal, but I think I’m getting more familiar as I blog more consistently. Weekly entries have been going better than they’ve ever gone before, and the modifications I’ve made to my methods seem to be working.

— MM

From Lyrical Puzzles

The Center (Matt Maday)

I forgive you.

I took to the woods because the house was too loud.

I forgive myself.

the streambed absent water my shoes looked unreal they were filled with air, shoes attached to socks, socks attached to pants, no feet, all my clothes attached to no body, my head bobbing above the void, the sun melting a variety of weird temperatures
frost bit through with its blue flame in the summer.

I forget you.

I took to the woods to forgive myself. And there it was. A makeshift shelter, faded wood in the
swollen arms of a sycamore

panels jutted from the boughs, human and obscene.
surrounding me, cradling: our bed.

out here,
no one’s bed.

Counseling Center, you hypnotized me, set me up and left me with a compromised
midbrain, my eyes were fixed in place. Prepared for the psychotic break

this is where I really grew up. I wish I could share it with you but I can’t because

I forget you.

I can only stare at the flecks of light cut in the black felt board, can’t ever look at the night sky
and sink in because after a while I have no reference point

I’m set apart from

those throughout history,

killed without a warrant, persecuted without reason
and left to dry on Dandelion Row

Graduate school finals are coming up next week, and I’m ahead of schedule with that, despite a ton of outrageous obstacles this year. I still don’t know if all my academic work will amount to much of anything, and my attempts to discuss this with professors and administrators have only led to more frustration.

Still, my independent projects are demonstrating the potential for amazing results; I’m just a little behind schedule, especially with recording and writing finished projects, and publishing. I’m trying to work on my timing.

— MM

I’ve been enrolled in college nearly half my life, and I sometimes feel like all I have to show for it is a jargon-heavy mental dictionary filled with buzzwords such as “authentic learning.”

I’m finally starting to understand the “hidden curriculum” as it applies to higher education, and my recent discoveries involving this particular buzzword have led to confusion, frustration, and ideas for progress. More on the subject later.

— MM