Poetry

College (Matt Maday)

It’s about how I viewed a film
like Easy Rider on

a DVD borrowed from the
college library

I watched Peter Fonda
on a laptop;

now I have a TV
and a better understanding.

sometimes I talk to God, ask

Him why
I’m a nihilist; He tells me that

I’m not, and I really have to
smile
at this possibility:

I was most wrong in my
moments of doubt
like when I was at the bar
drinking just a
little bit

sliced open a blister on
my thumb

in the
bar
bathroom

looking in the mirror
as I washed it.

the alcoholic soap
made a hiss
like the

VHS

sounded when

I watched Timothy Leary as he spoke
to my college
on video cassette.

I was there watching with ear cover

headphones;

I was alone.

“Choose your soft drink
and get free”

‘Caffeine Control Group with Nicotine’

or

‘Psilocybin Psychology Philosophy’

I was just thinking about
how these might
have been my most
formative years,

how I was at the bar caught a glimpse
of myself in the mirror

and realized
that
this form of
prayer is not the same and means
something totally different when

intoxicated

like the sting
when my new skin was exposed
at times I still feel it.